FINDING JOY AND HEALTH DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC
I work with all sorts of people. Young professionals in their 20’s, c-suite executives in their 50’s, retirees, stay at home and working moms of all ages, athletes, artists, yogis, scientists, counselors. They are unique and singular human beings that come to me because they want to be happier, healthier, kinder to themselves. They, and we, are all incredibly different. But in this moment, we have never been more similar. We are all struggling. And we are all in this together.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been offering single session services focused on helping people survive, cope and in tiny ways, thrive in this bizarre alternate reality. There were many common themes that arose in these discussions that gave birth to the tools and resources below. These are the coping mechanisms my clients, friends, family, and own little household are finding most helpful right now.
GIVE YOURSELF & YOUR LOVED ONES GRACE & COMPASSION: This is unlike anything any of us have been through before. There are no books or instruction manuals or tried and true coping methods for a global pandemic that alters our lives in almost every way. As humans, we are averse to change, fear the unknown and struggle with uncertainty. We are also pack animals that thrive with human connection and community. The nature of this pandemic causes friction in every fiber of our being. It is expected, normal and ok to be struggling. The best thing you can do for yourself and those around you? Enter each day with as much compassion and grace as you can muster. Remember that scarcity alone is incredibly triggering, (empty shelves at all the stores and running out of toilet paper is enough to put the fear of God in anyone), and gift yourself and others love and light in all this darkness. Be what the world needs more of right now, even when it is incredibly hard.
FIND A WAY TO HELP OTHERS: I know it might seem overwhelming to add something else to your day when you might be struggling to just get by, but helping others is an incredible way to step outside the cycle of fear and be reminded of what binds us all together as humans. If you can find even 5 minutes even once each week to help another human, it will help you too. We all need love, support, reassurance, laughter, affection, and of course, to have our basic needs yet. How might you meet those needs for someone else? Maybe it’s a call to an elderly neighbor, or a toilet paper delivery to a quarantined friend. Another great idea: buy lunch for a healthcare worker (or a janitorial staff member) by sending them funds via venmo.
STRIKE A BALANCE WITH FOOD & ALCOHOL: Elevated stress hormones increase cravings for sugar and carbohydrates, so it’s no wonder everyone’s baking a few times a week right now. In times of uncertainty or grief, it’s also common to seek comfort in old familiar forms of self soothing, like favorite childhood treats or jugs of margaritas. One thing to keep in mind: nutrition and gut health have an impact on our immune systems, mental health and overall wellbeing, so try your best to strike a happy balance between nourishing your body and indulging in those comfort foods and drinks. Do the best you can to nourish with some whole real foods given what you have access to right now, (it varies greatly across the country), but please don’t add stress by expecting nutritional perfection during a pandemic!
STAY GROUNDED WITH A (LOOSE) SCHEDULE: All this change is A LOT for our brains and bodies to adjust to. All of a sudden, our environments, the company we keep and how we work, eat, move, sleep and spend our time is all changed. These changes alone can be very unsettling, especially for those of us that struggle with anxiety and depression. If you’re looking for more stability and want to feel like you know what to expect each day, try bookending your days with a short grounding morning routine and calming evening routine. In the hours in between, you can keep mealtimes consistent with “the good old days” if need be too. Don’t be afraid to allow a little room for play, curiosity and expansion though. Incredible things can happen when we get creative with the time we’ve gotten back from commutes and social obligations.
PRIORITIZE FAMILIAR COMFORTING RITUALS: If you had rituals in your weekly routine that were comforting and familiar before coronageddon, I highly suggest prioritizing those right now. It might be a morning meditation with your kids or cooking dinner with your partner. Perhaps it was dinner with grandma on Wednesdays or drinks with the girls on Thursdays. You might have to get creative with how you make these things happen (Zoom with grandma or the girls!), but you can still benefit from the spirit of the ritual in its new form, and the familiarity is magically soothing.
MANAGE STRESS & ANXIETY WITH MINDFULNESS: With new forms of stress coming at us from all angles right now, it is more important than ever to manage stress. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to eliminate your sources of stress, especially when quarantined, but you can change how your brain and body perceive and manage stress. I highly recommend short guided meditations (I love the Headspace app), simple breath work or other simple forms of MBSR (there are some great options in this blog post).Try doing a little something in the morning upon waking and in the late afternoon. Bonus? Do something after dinner or before bed too! Your stress levels and mindset will benefit tremendously from multiple sessions, even if they are brief!
HOLD SPACE FOR FEELINGS & FEARS THAT ARISE: Almost everyone I have connected with over the past month has mentioned an overwhelming rollercoaster of emotions arising on any given day. There is so much to process right now, and you’ll likely find great relief in holding space for all these emotions somehow. Everyone’s preferred method is a little different, but we all can benefit from releasing the fear, anxiety, frustration, etc that we’re experiencing. I love journaling daily and find therapy tremendously helpful. Many of my clients use me as a sounding board, or a trusted loved one. I have friends that have found breath work to be a game changer. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different ways of honoring and releasing whatever comes up for you right now, just find a way to make it happen at least a few times each week!
GET OUTSIDE: Stay-at-home orders, mandatory quarantines and all the “don’ts” of pandemic life can feel incredibly restricting. Not only is time outside is good for your mental and physical health, it will also help you feel more expansive. Get outside as many times each day as you can to breathe in the fresh air, look up at the sky, go for a long walk, and be reminded that no one can take the simple pleasures and beauty of nature away!
PUT YOUR PANTS ON: Take it from someone that has struggled with depression on and off since adolescence, there is something about getting yourself dressed each morning that really gets you going. After you get past that hurdle, everything feels more doable. It can be awfully tempting to sit around in sweat pants with unwashed hair tumbling down around your face, but if you get up and get ready for the day as if you have places to go and people to see, you’re going to feel better about yourself and life in general.
STAY CONNECTED: We need connection to other human beings to thrive in this life. Think outside the box, take inspiration from friends or family, or use conferencing tools like Zoom to find a form of connection to your people that feels nourishing to you. Some fantastic ideas: monthly virtual book clubs, weekly video chats with your group of friends, regular virtual workouts with your favorite studio, FaceTime tea parties for your kids, Sunday dinners with your family over Zoom, Facebook or Instagram Live dance classes or cooking classes, so many options!
LIMIT NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA: There is an abundance of stress-inducing misinformation and speculation out there right now. Why stress yourself out and contribute to poor mental health by getting wrapped up in it everyday? I highly suggest limiting your news and social media consumption to 30 minutes/day. It should be more than enough time to access essential updates and laugh at a few coronavirus memes without going down the rabbit hole.